You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize