hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize