D3 body, D1 cock
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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