I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
