Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
