if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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