Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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