Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
