She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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