All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
