somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize