Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
