You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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