Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
