Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
