In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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