"it" just moved
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize