He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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