I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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Randomize
