lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
