I will die if light touches me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
