rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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