Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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