remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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