we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
