who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize