It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
