take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
