But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize