If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
