Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
