Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
