So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
