She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
