are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
