; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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