ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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