i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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