Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
