Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
