dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
