I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
