Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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