My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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