and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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