Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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