My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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