My hand turned me down
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
