Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize