Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
