i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
