No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
