My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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