just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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