I'm going to jail i love you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
