I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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