i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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