I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
