too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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