i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
