Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
