is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
